Counselling

Q1: What is counselling?
A1: Counselling is the nurturing, trusting relationship between client(s) and facilitator (counsellor). The chief aim of this counselling relationship is to facilitate the client(s) in structuring his/her thinking, evaluating objectives, identifying goals and facilitating attainment of those goals. Counselling takes place in direct response to an individuals need to deal with problem areas in their lives. It promotes the examining of options open to them and in finding new ways of coping with life’s challenges.

Q2: How can counselling help?
A2: Counselling offers other ways of looking at situations. It facilitates clients in examining their options by making available another perspective, which may result in different options or actions being considered. The process of counselling should foster a sense of self-awareness. Facilitation, through counselling, aids the client in finding the answers for themselves, because only the client knows what will work.
Q3: Will the counsellor tell me what to do?
A3: The role of the counsellor is not to "sort out", or decide for the client what is best for them. The counsellor is trained in the areas of human personality, motivation, growth and in the practice of counselling skills. S/he uses these professional skills and appropriate clients in the process of finding answers for themselves.

Q4: Who comes looking for counselling?
A4: Individuals of all age groups and relationship types. Couples, whether married, cohabiting or same sex and the children affected by relationship breakdown. In fact, all those who are seeking help with significant life issues and are looking for change in their lives.

Q5: What reason do people have for coming to AIM for counselling?
A5: Individuals and couples come to counselling for a number of reasons. There can be issues in coping with relationship difficulties or trauma coping with relationship breakdown. Other matters can include families in transition, anger management, parenting issues, anxiety, addiction, depression, bereavement and loss of all kinds, past abuse, bullying or life cycle issues.

Q6: Do I need my spouse/partner for relationship counselling?
A6: It is more helpful for both partners to participate in relationship counselling, but individuals can gain direction and support from counselling.

Q7: Is counselling confidential?
A7: AIM Counselling Service is confidential. There may be some rare exceptions to this assurance, for instance, where it is deemed that someone poses a threat to themselves or others or when a child could be at risk.

Q8: How many sessions will it take?
A8: This is up to the individual or couple as they determine how many sessions they want, but the general consensus is that at least six to ten sessions is deemed necessary for change to occur.

Q9: How long is a session?
A9: Each counselling session is an hour long and takes place in our premises at 64 Dame Street, by appointment only.

Q10: What counselling approach does AIM use?
A10: AIM Counselling Service uses an integrative approach with emphasis on CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and client centred values.

Q11: How can I avail of AIM's counselling service?
A11: AIM Family Services provide a confidential Counselling service that can be accessed by contacting our Administrator for an appointment, by phone at 01 6708363 or by email at aimfamilyservices@eircom.net.

Q12: How much does it cost?
A12: The fee structure will be discussed at time of enquiry but please note that AIM Counselling has an accommodation in place for the unwaged or student.

Mediation

The AIM family mediation service has been in existence since 1991. Our mediators are fully trained professional mediators and are affiliated to the Mediator’s Institute of Ireland.

What is Family Mediation?
Family Mediation is a process in which an impartial third person (a mediator) assists those involved in family breakdown (in particular separating or divorcing couples and single parents) to communicate better with one another and reach their own agreed and informed decisions about their children, finances, property, division of other assets and any additional issues relevant to their separation agreement.

Mediation is an alternative to solicitors negotiating for you or having decisions made for you by the courts. Entering mediation is always voluntary

Is Marriage Counselling or Legal Advice Part of the Service Offerred in Mediation?
No

Is Mediation Confidential?
Yes. The content and process of mediation is confidential. The Mediator does not take sides. His or her only interest is in helping the couple concerned to work out mutually satisfactory arrangements for their future as separated spouses/parents.

How does it Work?
A mediator will see you together, usually for a number of sessions. Problems are identified and possible solutions explored. The aim is to achieve practical, workable arrangements, which are acceptable both to you and any children you may have.

How can it Help?
Family mediation helps you plan the future. It offers you the service of mediators who listen to each of you, and work with both of you. The aim is to reach agreement about the arrangements to be made for the future parenting of your children. Mediators will not take sides in a dispute and they will not make decisions for you.

Family mediation can assist all kinds of couples

- married and unmarried
- younger and older
- whether or not you have children

to negotiate and re-negotiate arrangements.

Is Mediation Suitable for Everybody?
Generally speaking it is. However, you will have a chance to discuss this in more detail at your first individual meeting with the mediator.

Why Would I Choose Mediation to Resolve a Family Dispute?
Mediation is particularly well suited to family disputes because the process helps people negotiate settlements on the basis of their needs and interests so that each can have the best possible outcome in the circumstances. On the other hand, when cases go to court a judge makes a decision (focusing on opposing legal rights and obligations of the parties) that everyone must live with, even when one person wins the case and the other loses.

What does the Mediator do?
Family mediators can help you decide if mediation suits you and your circumstances. Most separating couples have found family mediation to be a constructive and supportive means of conducting discussions and reaching workable and practical arrangements.

The mediators job is to act as an impartial third party and manage the process, helping you to exchange information, ideas and feelings constructively and ensuring that you make informed decisions. The mediator has no power to impose any settlement - responsibility for all decisions remains with yourselves since you know better than anyone else what is right for your family. The mediator will not advise you about the best option either for your children or your financial affairs, nor can the mediator protect your individual interest.

The mediator’s role is neutral and not a substitute for independent legal advice. The mediator does not represent either party, but focuses on helping the parties reach a fair agreement. While the decisions reached in mediation are made by the parties, it is important that they be informed decisions.

How many Sessions are Necessary?
This depends on the number and complexity of the issues to be brought to mediation but normally would be anything between three and six sessions. Each mediation session lasts one hour.

What Happens when we reach Agreement?
When a case settles at mediation, the mediator will record the couple’s decisions in a written agreement. It is recommended that people seek independent legal advice before signing the agreement.

The agreement is like any contract reached between two people. If someone breaches the agreement, parties can meet again with a mediator to attempt to resolve the dispute or use the court process to enforce the agreement.

What Happens when we do not reach Agreement?
Sometimes only some of the issues are settled at mediation and sometimes none of the issues settle. In these cases, the parties can go to court to have a judge make a decision on the unresolved issues. After participating in mediation people tend to have a clearer idea of what the issues are and how they would like to see these issues settled.

What are the Values and Ethics of Mediation?
Voluntary Participation - Mediation can only work if both parties agree to participate. They can terminate at any time as can the mediator.

Neutrality - The essence of mediation is that the mediator does not offer his/her solution to the issues brought by the parties.

Impartiality - The mediator does not take sides.

Confidentiality - The mediator will not disclose information revealed in the process except when a child is at risk. The mediator will neither testify in court nor reveal records or documentation used in the course of mediation to anyone whatsoever.

Welfare of children - Family mediation grew out of a concern for the welfare of children and retains this commitment, by helping involved adults to focus on their children’s needs. In mediation parents are regarded as the experts on their children and will have valuable knowledge and information about their needs, wishes and views.

Family Violence - The use of violence by one partner against the other represents an extreme form of power imbalance and as such is often unacceptable as a basis for ethical mediation.

What are the Advantages of Mediation?

• Encourages cooperation between the couple
• Less divisive than court action
• Parenting and financial issues are decided by mutual agreement
• Decisions taken jointly by the couple have a better chance of being honoured
• Reduces the cost and delays involved in court proceedings
• Offers a confidential service

Research conducted by The Joseph Rowntree Foundation with Newcastle University identified that three years later couples felt that mediation had helped them to:

• End the marital relationship amicably
• Reduce conflict
• Maintain good relationships with their ex spouses
• Carry less bitterness and resentment into their post-separation/divorce lives.
• Be more content with existing child care arrangements and less likely to have disagreement about child contact.
• Be able to reach agreement that has survived the test of time.
• Be glad they had used mediation.

Goals of Mediation

• To help the parties reach their own acceptable agreement by fully exploring all choices.
• To avoid the need for a court-imposed decision.
• To prepare the parties to anticipate, work through, and resolve disagreements that might arise.
• To reduce anxiety and the negative effects of going to court.

How can I avail of AIM’s Mediation Service?
Simply by phoning 01-6708363 and asking for an appointment. Both partners must attend each session. They must each confirm the date and time of the appointment. The charges for mediation will be discussed at the time of making the initial appointment.

Counselling -
Mediation -